Trust Your Therapist, Use Your Voice

Massage therapy is a weird thing. You can't wait to go and get on the table, you have a great conversation with the therapist and you're good to go. Something happens when you're on the table. You're suddenly mute. They're too light here, too deep there. You just grin and bear it and can't wait until they move from that section.

Yeah, you wanted deep tissue, but it's too much!

This happens often. You feel vulnerable. Why wouldn't you? You are either naked or partially so on a table with someone digging into your muscles. It can be overwhelming, and suddenly you've decided to just deal with it.

I have always told my clients they need to speak up immediately if what I'm doing isn't working for them. It's frustrating when a client doesn't speak up.

We forget that our clients are in a vulnerable position, and sometimes aren't sure if they SHOULD speak up.

As a massage therapist, I find that many therapists go to fast, and it's too much. I'm very tight so that means I am often very sensitive. I WANT a deep tissue, but many therapists I've seen mix up deep tissue and just hard pressure.

Then a few weeks ago, I saw a therapist who started as a co-worker. The working relationship was short-lived, but I really enjoyed her. So I got a massage from her. I enjoyed it, but like everyone else, was just to fast. Did I feel good after? Absolutely. She is a very skilled therapist. The problem is that I tense a lot. I'm anticipating the pain and can't relax. I thought about it a lot.

So the next time I saw her, I asked her if she could use the same depth, but make the strokes a bit slower. Go at half speed. She listened and we got started.

You know what? For the first time, I got the relief I needed AND I was able to relax. She was shocked. I normally chat my way through it. I genuinely want to talk to her, but I realized that it was a distraction from the anticipated pain.

We talked about it after and we both realized that we wonder the same thing. What does the massage I give feel like?! We often give massages that we think may feel good. We customize our treatments to the person, but you can't help but add a bit in that is something that you KNOW you would personally like. That doesn't mean the client will like it...but what if you get good feedback?

It's a weird position to be in. You just want to receive the exact same massage you would give just to know how it feels.

What we realized in that moment is that you have to trust your therapist enough to use your voice. Actually tell them what you want! But it's not easy! In order to feel comfortable using your voice, you need to be able to trust your therapist. Trust takes time to build. It won't be immediate, but after a few sessions, you should have a good enough relationship that even the most reluctant person will trust you enough to tell you what is going on with them.

This is how you build relationships with clients who recommend you and/or come back to you. This is how you become a better therapist.

It was such a good thing for both of us to experience.